January 10th, 2013
you dive in deep, head first into a snow globe of your own creation. you breathe in paper snowflakes, the flurries falling to your feet just bits of paper, blinding white and everywhere. there is no sun, just lights on a string, and no sky, just rope after rope of swaying paper chain. you think you can hear silent singing, but maybe it’s just you humming in your pretty voice for when you know that someone’s listening. and in your snow globe you aren’t alone, there’s a woman there, an old vietnamese woman, so old, with tiny claw like hands. she’d sewn her son a stocking, once, many years ago, given him a christmas dream…but he’d gone away and left it all to rot. ‘take it,’ she says, ‘it’s been 30 years since these things have been loved.’ so you hang that stocking for your baby, find homes for the things that she held dear. plastic trees and tinsel garlands, ornaments and old pom poms, flower lights, deer, and crepe paper santas. and you bake and decorate, prick your fingers with embroidery needles, fingers that smell like burning wood, fingers stained with a thousand flecks of paint. and you wrap and cut and hang and make and cook and clean and there is no sleep inside your little snow globe, up all night and you watch the moon fade. santa suits and bedtime stories, stripes and bells and hats and plaid, feather trees and a singing tie, hot chocolate and irish creme, poinsettia petals red and pink, a waiting tiger and handmade gifts, the feast of seven fishes and a winning apple pie, christmas elves and chicken eggs…nothing else is getting in and nothing ever is getting out and everything inside that snow globe is completely, perfectly right.
now those days are packed away inside a dozen mismatched boxes.
December 27th, 2011
baby in a bathrobe. christmas eve breakfast. old ornaments. flashing lights. long naps. back scratches. fringe and plaid. leopard shoes. red toes. singing ties. suit jackets and sneakers. chocolate cake with a silver bow. presents and paper, tissue and ribbon. a tiny ukelele. late nights. rudolph and hot cocoa. homemade croutons. surprise rain boots. seafood lunch. a hand carved bow. new toys. a warm fire. paper snowflakes. tie dyed yarn. handwritten notes. baby jesus. burning incense. toy helicopter, a tiny flashing dragonfly.
December 24th, 2011
this was last year.
alex serenaded B and I while we danced in front of the window.
this year, our piano is barricaded by packed boxes and our tree is still in the attic.
I just wanted to tell everyone Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah (high five if you’re Jewish), or whatever you celebrate.
We’ll be back on Monday.
December 21st, 2011
We make this for Christmas every year and box it up for people we love. If you have ever gotten a box of this from us, that means we kind of think you kick ass and deemed you worthy of hours spent slaving in the kitchen. Also it’s just amazing.
- 2 cups flour
- 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 6 tbsp butter
- 2 eggs
- 1 cup sugar
- 1/2 cup dried cranberries
- 1/2 cup chocolate chips
- 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1. Preheat oven to 350. Butter and flour a baking sheet.
2. Mix flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt in a bowl.
3. beat together butter, sugar, and eggs.
4. stir the dry ingredients into the butter/egg/sugar mixture.
5. stir in cranberries, chocolate chips, and nuts.
6. dump onto your buttered/floured pan and shape into a rectangle.
7. bake for 25 minutes.
8. remove from oven and let cool for about 10 minutes. once it’s cooled, cut into stripes about 1 inch wide and flip over onto their side so that one of the soft sides is now face down on the pan.
9. put back in the oven for another 10-15 minutes.
10. DEVOUR. or share. whatever.
*Consider the fact that I shared this recipe my virtual box of already cooked biscotti wrapped up with yarn and paper snowflakes with your name in silver glitter. That means I love you. All of you. For life.
December 19th, 2011
and with that, we had a white christmas.
December 9th, 2011
So I’ve been sifting through the comments on this post on and off throughout the day, seriously crying each time. During one crying fit, B summer saulted over my side, gave me a giant kiss, grabbed his towel, and cuddled me. I almost died. Go read it – the rest of this might not make sense if you don’t.
Every time I go to reach out, I’m too late and their needs get taken care of by several other people. But I want to help. Badly. I want the boys to do this every year, select toys and clothes and things to send to someone else who needs them and wouldn’t have any kind of Christmas without them.
I fully don’t expect anyone to comment with their private financial details and whatnot, but if you’re struggling and in need, I want to help you.
I know what it’s like to be a child in a home where we moved around to people’s couches and spare rooms, where we had to ask for handouts, make those decisions where it’s either pay the bills or feed the family. I watched my mom struggle and I saw what it did to her. And there was always someone that would step in, help in a way that seemed trivial to them…but it would have the biggest impact on us – and I don’t know if they ever even realized it.
We’ve got wipes and clothes and some diapers and toys for NB-12 months. I’m a size smallish. I want to help if and where I can, especially if it means any of you get to have some gifts under the tree for your kids this year if they weren’t going to otherwise.
Send me an email and let me know what you need. firstname.lastname@example.org.
December 7th, 2011
December 5th, 2011
a tiny tree. a tiny penguin. a bowl of candy canes. kitchen chalkboard. blue lights. jingle pup. christmas socks. bird tree. vodka egg nog. peppermint hot chocolate. a lonely string of lights. an evergreen tea light.
I had big things running through my head for christmas this year. our big tree with the big lights and collected ornaments…the train that runs around it…the candy cane forest and paper snowflakes. paper chains and an advent calendar. the same christmas movies we watched when I was little. christmas morning with presents under the tree. a trip to see santa. fake snow. christmas cookies and homemade ornaments. christmas records and reindeer. all of it. but instead we’ll have a little christmas while we move out of our little house. and our tree will stay in the attic and our boxes will stay packed and on christmas morning, instead of opening presents, we’ll wake up in our new house and sit together in front of our very first fireplace, even if there are no stockings. and it will be everything we ever wanted, more perfect than the biggest christmas in our little house.
December 30th, 2010
The Christmas Eve photos in all their glory.
The twat at Walgreens didn’t develop the one of my tajazzled gingerbread men.
And then Stella ate them.
Brigsby was a champ.
December 27th, 2010
On Christmas Eve we went to Madre and Padre’s and they cooked us a bad ass breakfast. Then Brigzilla got lots of presents and we watched the Star Wars marathon. We made gingerbread men and mine got tajazzled. And then we had a photo shoot. A damn good one. But I don’t have those pictures yet.
On Christmas I proposed to Beloved. He lost his ring a few months ago..so I bought him a new one and tried to propose to him the same way he proposed to me 3 years ago…but he caught on and when he did he held me for a very long time, just standing in the kitchen, his arms around me while Brigsby slept. Santa left me a sweet surprise in the Christmas tree and I pranced around in polka dots and my Christmas boots. Brigsby peed on himself 3 different times. People were in and out all day and Husband played me songs on the piano.
Caden came over and demolished the Candy Cane Forest. We watched him ride his little 4 wheeler and Brigsby and I danced in front of the Christmas Tree. Later on we bundled him up and made a surprise appearance at Aunt Julie’s and we ate lasagna while Brigsby slept on my chest. And then we went home and when we should have been sleeping, Brigsby and I had a photo shoot because he was dressed like an elf and he was smiling and how can you sleep when you have a smiling little elf baby to play with?