February 23rd, 2012
the holy grail of breakfast food.
(or dinner. don’t act like you don’t eat breakfast for dinner.)
make a peanut butter/banana/honey sandwich.
then cook it like you would french toast…so milk, eggs, vanilla, cinnamon, whatever.
don’t scrimp on the confectioner’s sugar or whipped cream, either.
and serve it with a pina colada.
this > all other food.
December 21st, 2011
We make this for Christmas every year and box it up for people we love. If you have ever gotten a box of this from us, that means we kind of think you kick ass and deemed you worthy of hours spent slaving in the kitchen. Also it’s just amazing.
- 2 cups flour
- 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 6 tbsp butter
- 2 eggs
- 1 cup sugar
- 1/2 cup dried cranberries
- 1/2 cup chocolate chips
- 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1. Preheat oven to 350. Butter and flour a baking sheet.
2. Mix flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt in a bowl.
3. beat together butter, sugar, and eggs.
4. stir the dry ingredients into the butter/egg/sugar mixture.
5. stir in cranberries, chocolate chips, and nuts.
6. dump onto your buttered/floured pan and shape into a rectangle.
7. bake for 25 minutes.
8. remove from oven and let cool for about 10 minutes. once it’s cooled, cut into stripes about 1 inch wide and flip over onto their side so that one of the soft sides is now face down on the pan.
9. put back in the oven for another 10-15 minutes.
10. DEVOUR. or share. whatever.
*Consider the fact that I shared this recipe my virtual box of already cooked biscotti wrapped up with yarn and paper snowflakes with your name in silver glitter. That means I love you. All of you. For life.
April 21st, 2011
1/2 cup butter, room temp.
1 cup white sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup sour cream
1 cup dried cranberries
1 cup chopped pecans
3 chopped up bananas
Preheat oven to 350
1. mix the butter, white sugar, and brown sugar in a bowl (like…by hand)
2. add the eggs and vanilla and stir that up too.
3. then add the salt, flour, and baking soda. keep stirring.
4. add the bananas, sour cream, pecans, and cranberries. fold it, fancy for stir gently.
5. put it in a loaf pan.
6. bake it for 60 – 75 minutes. do the toothpick trick.
maybe this constitutes a fruit cake. i don’t know.
it will get demolished.
April 7th, 2011
-2 cups short grain rice
- 2 tbsp sugar
-1 tsp salt
-1/4 cup rice vinegar
Step 1: buy a susheezi.
Step 2: rinse the rice in a bowl until the water runs clear-ish.
Step 3: put in a pot with 3 cups water. bring to a boil, cover, then turn on low setting for 15 minutes.
Step 4: while rice is cooking, chop up the cucumber, avocado, and crab meat & set aside.
Step 5: Combine the rice vinegar, sugar, and salt. microwave at 30 second intervals until the sugar and salt dissolve.
Step 6: When the rice is done, let sit for 10 minutes, then pour the rice vinegar mix over it. fold the rice to mix so you don’t mash it all up.
Step 7: Open the Susheezi and fill both sides with rice (it’s easier if your hands are wet.)
Step 8: Use the rod thing to create a little ditch in the rice.
Step 9: Fill both sides with cucumber, avocado, and crab.
Step 10: Put the rod thingy back at the end. Close and lock the Susheezi. Put the end cap on and twist the rod thingy until you can’t twist anymore (that’s what she said.)
Step 11: take off the end cap and push in the rod thingy to squeeze out the sushi roll onto the seaweed.
Step 12: wet the edge of the seaweed to make it stick and stay closed. Let sit for 10 minutes.
Step 13: Use a wet knife and chop that shit up.
NOW EAT IT. AND WEAR A KIMONO.
March 31st, 2011
1 cup bisquick
1/2 cup milk
1 large egg
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1/3 cup crushed Heath candy pieces
1/4 cup sugar
1. throw everything in a bowl and mix it together. lovingly.
2. use the 1/4 measuring cup to pour onto hot griddle/pan
3. flip when you see bubbles. try not to drop them on each other.
I’m a terrible flipper.
Alex likes his with peanut butter.
I like mine with honey.
March 23rd, 2011
What we ate:
strawberries and biscotti
recipes available upon request
November 25th, 2010
It’s famous because Padre likes it and looks forward to it all year.
Usually I buy the pre-made apple pie crap.
This year I got fancy and made it myself.
- 8 cups apples
- 1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
- 1/2 cup white sugar
- 1/4 cup flour
- 2 teaspoons apple pie spice (it’s real.)
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1 tablespoon lemon juice
- 2 teaspoons vanilla
- 4 tablespoons heavy cream
- 4 tablespoons butter
- 2 pre made pie crusts
- 1/2 cup flour
- 3 tablespoons sugar
- 2 tablespoons melted butter
- 1/2 bag of the Heath bar pieces in the baking isle
- 1 dozen caramel chewy things left over from Halloween.
1. Preheat oven to 450
2. Peel apples and slice em up. 86 seeds and stems
3. feed the peels to patiently waiting dogs.
4. Put them in a big bowl and add the lemon juice. Shake it up.
5. In a smaller bowl mix up the brown sugar, white sugar, flour, apple pie spice, and salt.
6. Add it to the apples and keep on shaking until they’re all kind of covered.
7. Melt the butter in a real big pan.
8. Add apples and stir it all up. Cook for 10 minutes or so until it’s kind of mushy.
9. Put 1 pie crust in a pretty baking dish. It has to be a pretty dish. That’s crucial.
10. Put the apples in it
11. Mix up all the topping ingredients in a bowl.
12. Put it on top of the apples.
13. Put the second pie crust on top.
14. Seal it up and cut out some holes on the top. If you can carve out a unicorn, the pie will taste better. Promise.
15. Using your (clean) fingers, rub some beaten egg white on the top…or if you’re fancy you can actually use a brush thing.
16. Cover the top with sugar.
17. Bake for 15 minutes at 450
18. Remove and lower heat to 350
19. Cover with a piece of tin foil so the top doesn’t burn and cook for 45 more minutes.
“That’s magazine shit.”
November 19th, 2010
I hate the word sausage.
- 1 giant can of chicken noodle soup (ideally chicken broth…but sometimes you just have to improvise)
- water (just refill the can 3/4 of the way…i don’t know how much that is)
- half a box of shell pasta
- 2 cans of cannellini beans (drain the icky stuff)
- 1 can of italian diced tomatoes (don’t drain)
- some frozen mixed veggies
- some onion
- some garlic
- basil/oregano/whatever’s in your spice cabinet… I don’t even remember what I used.
- Sausage (ugh)
1. cook shell pasta. drain. *keep body parts away from the scalding steam*
2. Throw everything except for sausage, garlic, and onions into a pot (vintage green pots work best)
3. heat it up
3. chop up onion and garlic and sausage and cook in some olive oil until it’s cooked through and nothing looks pink
4. add it to the crap in the pot
5. stir it. eat it.
November 12th, 2010
Outback used to make something like this. Theirs was better…but this is also the only thing I’ve ever made that Alex has willingly eaten 4 days in a row. It is in no feasible way healthy…but who really cares. THIS SHIT IS DELICIOUS.
2 chicken breasts
1 box of penne
3 oz. sundried tomatoes
5 oz. shiitake mushrooms
a couple cloves of garlic
half a package of bacon bits (the real kind, not the fake stuff)
1 jar of alfredo
massive amounts of: salt, pepper,cayenne pepper,basil, oregano, garlic powder
1 package of provolone cheese
1/2 cup mozzarella
1. Preheat oven to 350. Cook pasta…drain…put back in pot
2. simultaneously grill chicken. cut up in small pieces and add to cooked/drained pasta.
3. chop up sundried tomatoes into small pieces. chop the hell out of the garlic.
4. sauté sundried tomatoes, shiitake mushrooms, garlic, and bacon in olive oil for a few minutes until it’s cooked through and smells really good. add to pasta.
5. add alfredo to pasta.
6. add an excessive amount of salt/pepper/cayenne/basil/oregano/garlic powder to pasta and stir it all up.
7. add half the pasta to a baking dish. layer on strips of provolone. add the rest of the pasta to baking dish and add some more provolone if you want. add 1/2 cup mozzarella to top.
8. bake in oven at 350 until the top is kind of brown like a pizza.
9. work out excessively the next day.