I remember when you took me to see snow, flew me all the way to Breckenridge. It was late when we landed and I fell asleep in the car while we drove up the mountain. I remember you shaking me awake in a Denny’s parking lot. “it’s snowing.” I was still in that dream fog when I opened my eyes, standing in snow for the first time and nothing felt real. I vaguely remember Anthony and Kelly being mildly amused at my reaction…but you. I looked up to see your face and you were just fucking beaming at me. I was holding snow in my hands and you were looking at me like you were the happiest you’d ever been in your entire life. I thought that night that we would never change.
and I thought it again when we walked down the snowy streets, ducked inside of every bar. I thought it again when we hunched over our drinks, my hair obscuring the light, and we drew on the cocktail napkins I still have saved in my top desk drawer. and again when the snow fell heavy and you handed me a rose. and again when you kissed me under a street lamp and picked me up when I fell on ice skates.
and then it was valentines day and I felt it again, the strongest time yet. we walked down the road in the dark, looking for a green fairy. we sat in that hidden absinthe bar, wormwood stretched from our lips to our fingers, snow melting from our shoes onto the floor. and I was so obscenely happy that night and I even told you, more than once,“no, we’re perfect.”
If you ever notice I’ve gone missing again, this is where you’ll find me.