This year went by much too fast. I feel like we’re speeding through our days so rapidly it’s scary, forever approaching the end. I never want this to end. Never. But one day, we’ll be able to say, “once upon a time when we were young, we kissed under a blue moon, so madly, completely, absolutely, perfectly in love, that all the days the world could give us simply weren’t enough.”

I’ve got a funny feeling about 2010.

Masquerade funeral skyler cremation cracker barrel little bird mom’s graduation rose petals vows on sidewalk sorento panama city turtle beach venice treasure island true love the fall walk magnolias pancakes sebastian ikea easter bubbles cupcakes ears margaritas rays game corona birthday chelsea splitsville julie aja brandon’s graduation stella dark hair record player sheehan smullen fourth of july horseshoes hats slipnslide hippies baby shower luau deep sea fishing sweetbay apple cup straw hats park square rum quarters civic key west football julestarz matt cori gypsies magicians assistant incense goodwill furniture fairy caden philadelphia 23 dogfest halloween pumpkin cake camping county fair tailgates keg toss filter flowers acropolis josh dad green iguana becka dollar tacos rebel jingle run papo graduation santa claus penelope constantine velvet rope

Posted in Little Holidays Comments Off

In February Husband is whisking me away to Colorado to show me snow for the very first time.  Hotel is booked, flights are booked, plans have been made. He’s the only person I want with me when I stand in awe at the snow falling down around me for the first time in my life and I want to hold his hand when mine gets too cold.

I wonder what he’ll look like with snowflakes falling down around him…and if our lips will stick together when he inevitably kisses me at the top of the mountain. There’s magic waiting for us in Colorado.

Posted in Uncategorized Comments Off

I think there may be a war in heaven

Paradise beneath the smoking gun

As every saint and small town saviour

Race to justify their chosen one.

I wonder, as our world collides

I want to reach out there, across the great divide…

These parasols and barbecues and loungers by the pool,

The late night conversations filled with twentieth-century cool.

My peers may flirt with cabaret – some fake the rebel yell…

Me, I’m moving up to higher ground – I must escape their hell.

Let me suspend my thirst for knowledge in your powder, sweat and sighs…

A grudge of Christian women – a stain of spotless wives.

A perfect destination inside a perfect world,

I take the bottle to the baby – you take the hammer to the pearl.

Like this, like this…

Every day’s like Sunday, down here on memory lane,

Salad days and no good ways drive me quite insane.

A cocktail-clouded troubadour attempts to speak in tongues,

He’s said enough – I’m through the door – I’m moving right along.

Like this, like this…

She’s studying the planets and she’s searching for signs,

Her eyes promise mystery and her treasure to find.

She’s mixing my emotions – it’s so easily done…

In league with the enchanter on the road to the sun

-Robert Plant

Love Robert Plant. Adore him. None of these lyrics are from the same song. The Enchanter is currently on repeat. Best album ever. Alex, I dedicate these all to you. Every last one.

Posted in Musings Comments Off

From Alex, To Jamie, With Love 12/29/09

I’m Sorry I Told You All My Problems

Don’t wake the kids for tea

Be thankful their paws are clean

We’ve just sold our house for pennies

They’ll be worried, just let them sleep

We will go to a town covered in snow

And settle down in a new home

Stand straight and tall

This is a misery that nobody wants

We’re in control of this

Don’t fear the fall

We’ve offered something that nobody wants

We’re in control of this

Grab your T.V, books, and speaker set

You don’t want to leave them behind

Letters, journals, pictures and thermals too

Remember who you are

Remember who you are

Remember who you are

Care for the ones you need

And maybe their hearts will grow

-Days Away

Posted in With Love Comments Off

December 23: JT and Amanda conspired with Husband to bestow upon me the most glorious gift in Christmas history: a bubbly goldfish named Penelope and a sweet baby betta fish named Constantine…since JT managed to starve Sebastian to death on our last vacation. Tears of joy. Dinner at Uncle Mike’s. Walked into a weird hat competition that I wasn’t aware of. Baby brother burned me an awesome c.d. Family discussion of my mom’s weirdest recurring childhood dream. Lead to a discussion on jackalopes, which naturally lead to my family dressing me as a jackalope, which then lead to me winning the weird hat competition and the googling of ‘jackalope.’ Watched Pink Floyd’s The Wall, which apparently is a Christmas tradition. Scored some awesome gift cards, coasters, ornaments, and a working turntable for our record player. Then my eye swelled shut because someone tried to poison me and put cat hair in my ravioli.

December 24: Spent many hours baking and curling ribbon and other such festive things. Painted our homemade cornhole/beanbag toss game for Matt & Cori. Kicked Husband out of the house and made up a bunch of crap so that I could have sufficient alone time to wrap and hide his presents. Two went inside our coffee table trunk, two went behind the couch, and one went in my car under a sheet. He never had a clue. Then dinner at Grandma Sandy’s where the most perfect lawn gnome was waiting for us and we had a photo shoot with baby Ryder and we were told we were ‘special’ at least three dozen times. Trey sassed me and almost got beat up by Husband. But we left before the family sang Happy Birthday to baby Jesus. Then Matt & Cori’s where I had two babies and two pugs to play with. More super special/thoughtful gift exchanging commenced and Cori cooked a lovely dinner and I was promised some pink plastic flamingos, like I’ve always wanted. We watched the Boondock Saints and discussed Husband’s tattoo and then he refused to go to bed without me so I spent 2 hours wasting time. Finally he gave up and I took all of his presents out of hiding and set them up Santa Claus style. Then I crawled into bed and he pulled me towards him, poking my back and making robot noises in his sleep. I spent the night giggling instead of sleeping.

December 25: Surprised Husband with his Christmas present: a professional beer and wine brewing kit and ingredients. I think he’ll make a genius brew-master. The girls got a kitcshy can of dog treats. Then I slipped on my Christmas boots and we played outside in the puddles waiting for JT and Amanda to wake up. Then we cooked breakfast and Caden was very surprised to see me so early. I love him. Then we swung by Julie’s and went to Aunt Chelle’s. Skyler sent me 37 texts on her new cell phone and we had lunch and goofed off and I saw Dad for the first time in months. Scored some sweet smelling candles and gift cards and a new Porcupine Tree t-shirt and hand carved brass keychain from a man dad met in India. Sky picked us out a pretty picture frame and Dad partially gave away Becka’s surprise gift. Then he got scolded. Then we went home and napped and then raced Madre & Padre to Nana and Papa’s and we took pictures in front of both Christmas trees and I listened while the boys talked politics. Then at home we snuggled.

December 26: Dad accompanied us for the day and helped Husband pick out the perfect amp and electric guitar. And we had lunch together and saw the new studio in Seminole Heights and I sat in the Boy House out back warming my feet by the heater and Husband shook his head and gave me curious looks. Becka gave us the velvet rope from the old studio that will go at the foot of our stairs and a new Dali print that will live in the living room and Bella was sweet and gave me kisses. Then dinner and many rounds of Rummy at Madre & Padre’s. And Stella got in trouble. Again.

Posted in Christmas Comments Off

Stella grew into her big girl hippie collar. No more rhinestones for the eccentric one. Glitz and glamour wasn’t really her thing anyway.

In an attempt to wash our white (unbeknownst to me) cotton curtains…I shrunk them at least a foot. They look fantastic. New curtains pronto. I’m thinking dark teal velvet.

We recently acquired some treasure of the more sentimental variety. A peacock figurine…a cherub baby holding a clam shell that holds the earrings I never wear…iridescent bowls and dishes with sweet flowers…a grandfather clock…a doily hand crocheted by Husband’s great great grandmother…various relics of the 1950′s…and silly things that piqued the fancy of a very old man.

Our house will be full of nothing but treasure until the day I die, I swear it.

These are the cuties that have consumed my life lately. They are too much. They sold out 4 consecutive performances of “A Christmas Wizard of Oz.” They make me laugh until I can’t breath. They are insane. I miss them. Niko’s in the middle. He was Uncle Henry.

Also, the tv turned on by itself again for the third time in a year. No one was within 10 feet of the remotes, everyone was asleep except me. Fact: it only happens after midnight. Fact: it only happens when I’m the only one awake. Fact: it is scary as hell. I think a certain someone followed me from my dad’s. It’s annoying.

Sometime soon I’m making this new website of ours and allowing comments again. Soon…meaning maybe a month. Tomorrow is bake-fest at the Dunn’s. Merry Christmas.

Posted in Life In General, Stella Comments Off

I had a bad dream last night…Alex told me I was screaming and struggling and crying in my sleep and there was nothing he could do to wake me up, instead I latched on to him and kept on crying.

In this dream, there was a Jurassic Park in Lithia and someone whispered in my ear that all the dinosaurs were going to escape. No one believed me, and everyone I told disappeared. I lost Alex. The dinosaurs escaped and I was running with Jt, Amanda, and Caden screaming that we had to leave or hide, because we would most certainly die otherwise. And then I saw Niko, the little boy from the class I teach at Julestarz that makes me heartsick, and he was crying, terrified out of his mind. He was alone and his parents had left him. I grabbed him and we ran and protecting him was all that mattered. And then he was eaten and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I couldn’t save him. I woke up later crying and Alex was at work and there was no one to latch on to or shake me out of it.

And then tonight while I was cooking dinner, Alex sat in the living room, transfixed by his guitar, trying to learn a certain song….Penelope by Pinback.

It’s depressing me
To see you struggle
I’m treading water with my oars
Glass galeons anchored, oceans floor
I’m diving down with all my gear
In search of treasure, para mi corazon

Take you to the forest
Let you feel the raindrops falling down
Seeping through your redscales
Eliminate the faucet
Eliminate the need for water
Replace it with a safe shell

Posted in Dreams Comments Off

We had our Christmas photo shoot and I can’t decide which one I like the best

I think I’ll just stick all three in everyone’s cards this year

I love it when Husband plays along with my ideas…dragging chairs into the woods and documenting me hanging lights in the trees in a skirt and heels. If it wasn’t for HOA…I’d hang them in the woods and leave them there forever because from our house they look like fireflies.

And Caden had a photo shoot of his very own

And then we had a photo shoot in the woods with Madre and Padre…I wish we could have video taped the whole thing. Those boys are trouble when they get together.

Posted in Christmas Comments Off

Sometimes when I crawl into bed really late, after you’re already fast asleep…

your arms instinctively reach out for me and hold me close.

I just want you to know how much I love that.

Posted in True Love Comments Off

Saturday was a day for lace stockings and flowers in my hair and photo shoots with Kelsey

And then I graduated

And now it’s real life

I have an overwhelming desire to take my Husband and our sweet Stella and Corona and steal away into the night, far away from everything and everyone where we can manipulate the world and create our own reality, living for everything the sky has to offer and for nothing at all for as long as we both shall live.

Posted in Life In General Comments Off